Mum: "Chantay (pron.SHON-tay) ... come here darling!"
Cheeky bystander: "oooh, that's a nice name, where's that from?"
Mum: "I made it up!! I just liked it"
Me: (to myself) 'why, of course you did, Renay" (just guessing)
Kath & Kim from the balconies .. "different .... unusual .... nice...."
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| Kim: Mum to EPPONNEE-RAE with her mum Kath |
The bogan sophisticate is inching their way into the modern lexicon with ever so lovely made up, trendy and special names and pronunciations. Chantelle is very French glamour for SHON-TEW. Whilst a little bit 70's and 80's, we can still find a few lovely lasses called MISH-EW.
We're being assisted with some more anglicised spellings, thank you REN-AY and let's not confuse you with a Christmas song KARYL.
Inspiration comes from everywhere and I know you'd like your little fireball to be assertive and all, but BUFFY does not say vampire slayer, it says pole dancer/porn star.
That's just the girls.
Everyone knows that all the naughty boys are called 'B' names. Bradley, Brendan (way back when), Braden, Ben (on occasion) and Brandon have all been on the bench outside the principal's office at one time or another.
Brayden/Kayden/Jayden can all skip the principal's office and go straight to jail.
The Toni/Tony confusion is mildly bearable if you're a girl but I'm sorry WILLOW, we now know you're a boy having been corrected by your mother. It must have been the pageboy haircut that caused the further confusion.
Peter Peterson, Michael Michaelson, John Johnson? You'd better work very hard or be very creative to avoid being likened to those that named you, who are either very lazy or have no imagination.
Are we really responsible enough to choose a name for our children that is not going to scar them for life? Will the name you've lovingly selected (or invented) have them marginalised for its pomposity, weird spelling or gender confusion? Is the name that you've chosen saying bogan, edgy, elitist (thank you Elizabeth), lazy or just plain dull? Are you going for different, unusual or just nice?
Parents have got so many other things to be blamed for; is it fair to have a new exhausted parent, delirious from labour and nursery paint fumes, make a lifelong commitment on behalf of their child?
Perhaps names should be randomly allocated by a computer and children could choose their "real name" at eighteen.
Then you could simply blame the machine. Just a thought.
Disclaimer: I have an Italian name, with an anglicised pronunciation that no-one can spell and everyone pronounces the Italian way. I am immune to the pain after these many years. I share my names FRANCESCA MELANIE with the children of Deborah Kerr of "From Here to Eternity" and "The King & I" fame. I can go a kiss in the surf as passionate as theirs when pressed.
Co-incidentally, Clint Eastwood, (shares a birthday with my brother) named his daughter Francesca after the protagonist in "Bridges of Madison County", played in the movie by the gorgeous, incomparable Meryl Streep. Or maybe it was a tribute to Meryl. Hmmm.
